I saw God today...

   
Prologue:  Part of this story believe it or not, is in fact true and happened to me one fine day in Bristol City two summers ago.


 I saw God today...Not the all powerful omnipotent white robed smother, bathed in white light. The humble unassuming old fella in sandals and hawaiin shirt played by James Garner. You know, the one with that look of smug self satisfaction plastered all over his hairy face. Nice bloke really.
     I stopped him as he passed me, not often you get chance to chat with the Alpha & Omega, The Man Himself. So I ask him a question, The Question. After a polite 'howd'ya do' of course. Im not rude...
     "So what's it all about Alpha?", says I.
     "You don't already know?", asks He.
     "I don't" says I.
     "You do" says He, "In here and here" he says quizzically, pointing first to his furry furrowed brow, the to       his moobs.
     "So..." says I, trying to coax from him, something a little more...Zen.
     "So..." says He, the difficult bastard.
     "It's all about mono-brows and nipples?" asks I.
     "Close", says He, his gaze sliding from mine across my shoulder into the distance. He points.
     "More visual aids?" ask I as I turn to follow his crinkled old finger, in the hope of actual nipples of the more stimulating sort. I complete my swivel and my gaze follows his...

     I awaken...no that's wrong. When you wake you feel sleepy, a little confused. It's a groggy process as your body begins to boot up, diagnostics are run, checks are made and slowly but surely you reach 100%, smooth running. This was not at all like that.
     My eyes snapped open, as if at the end of a rather long blink, though I could have sworn they were already open. No internal diagnostics needed, I know I'm fine. Now, I shit you not, what I see before me is un-fucking-believable...A golden Unicorn, standing proud 200 feet above the ground with a rainbow of the most vivid colours shining right out of its arse and streaking across the most beautifully blue sky I have ever witnessed. My lips purse, my eyes bulge, my cheeks puff and I burst at the seams with uncontrollable laughter. He chuckles and a look of humble pride appears across his ageless face.
     "That is indeed what it's all about" says He.