IT

three arms, two heads, four eyes and a trunk

pink and blue hair spiked up like a punk

it sniffles and growls and grunts now and then

it hasn't quite mastered the language of men

it hops on 3 legs, and stumbles around

the earth trembles beneath when each foot hits the ground

where is it going, nobody knows

where does it come from, or did it just grow

I was told a story, many years past

About this creature being the very last

Great hunters and warriors had killed all the rest

But one had evaded, he was surely the best

He ran, he ate horses for he could not ride

He ran and he ran, tried so very hard to hide

At last he reached a land where such creatures as It

could rest and relax, crochet or just knit

Dangerous

He met this sexy aussie Jess
He really wanted to undress
They met about a year ago
The day he returned from the snow
They all got fucked she lost her phone
An error to which she is prone.
And so their love was never meant
To be and even when they went
To the ministry of sound
Their fate was sealed ‘twas nowhere bound
As once again numbers exchanged
And phone was lost again, again!
Then finally one wintry night
As his last chance was right in sight
Young smurf boy grabbed her by the waist
She laughed, he smiled, then sucked her face
Finally they got together
Just before he left forever...

I saw God today...

   
Prologue:  Part of this story believe it or not, is in fact true and happened to me one fine day in Bristol City two summers ago.


 I saw God today...Not the all powerful omnipotent white robed smother, bathed in white light. The humble unassuming old fella in sandals and hawaiin shirt played by James Garner. You know, the one with that look of smug self satisfaction plastered all over his hairy face. Nice bloke really.
     I stopped him as he passed me, not often you get chance to chat with the Alpha & Omega, The Man Himself. So I ask him a question, The Question. After a polite 'howd'ya do' of course. Im not rude...
     "So what's it all about Alpha?", says I.
     "You don't already know?", asks He.
     "I don't" says I.
     "You do" says He, "In here and here" he says quizzically, pointing first to his furry furrowed brow, the to       his moobs.
     "So..." says I, trying to coax from him, something a little more...Zen.
     "So..." says He, the difficult bastard.
     "It's all about mono-brows and nipples?" asks I.
     "Close", says He, his gaze sliding from mine across my shoulder into the distance. He points.
     "More visual aids?" ask I as I turn to follow his crinkled old finger, in the hope of actual nipples of the more stimulating sort. I complete my swivel and my gaze follows his...

     I awaken...no that's wrong. When you wake you feel sleepy, a little confused. It's a groggy process as your body begins to boot up, diagnostics are run, checks are made and slowly but surely you reach 100%, smooth running. This was not at all like that.
     My eyes snapped open, as if at the end of a rather long blink, though I could have sworn they were already open. No internal diagnostics needed, I know I'm fine. Now, I shit you not, what I see before me is un-fucking-believable...A golden Unicorn, standing proud 200 feet above the ground with a rainbow of the most vivid colours shining right out of its arse and streaking across the most beautifully blue sky I have ever witnessed. My lips purse, my eyes bulge, my cheeks puff and I burst at the seams with uncontrollable laughter. He chuckles and a look of humble pride appears across his ageless face.
     "That is indeed what it's all about" says He.

Conehead

       The Clock struck Ten and the screams began. At precisely Ten Minutes past the screams dies away and those of another began. 

Johnathon James Edwards was born at Ten past Ten in the morning of the Tenth  of October in the year Two Thousand and Ten.He weighed precisely Ten pounds and Ten ounces, hence the unholy, other worldly screams from his mother minutes before his first breath.

      "Jesus Diane", her husband whispered softly as he gazed lovingly at his new baby boy. "I thought your bloody head was going to explode, the sight of you pushing the little bugger out!"

      "It wasn't my head I was worried about" she softly whispered back, never once taking her eyes from Johnathon. "I thought he was going to come out looking like Dan Ackroyd in Coneheads!"

love is all you need

Life with all its
Obstacles does
Very often
End without a meaning

Its interesting that
Sometimes

All you need in
Life is right there
Laid before

Your eyes
Obvious and
Undisguised

Not expected or
Even recognised at first
Everything else becomes nothting but
Distracting once discovered

the most important day of my life

Dressed in white with train in tow, 10’000 feet  the ground below,

I take the leap, I pull the chord, my water breaks the tension stored.

If matters weren’t severe enough, the strangler he then tries to stuff,

A concoction of drugs right down my gullet, moments before I catch a bullet.

The Queen is saved from mortal danger,from that dodgy looking stranger,

Although I’ve saved the universe, my journey ends inside a hearse.

Imprtant day 2.0 with extra olvies

Dressed in white with train in tow,the ground 10’000 feet below,
I take the leap, I pull the chord, my water breaks the tension stored.
If matters weren’t severe enough, the strangler he then tries to stuff,
A concoction of drugs right down my gullet, moments before I catch a bullet.
The Queen is saved from mortal danger,from that dodgy looking stranger,
To celebrate there's olives and cheese, I choke on one before I 'Freeze'.
Although I’ve saved the universe, my journey ends inside a hearse,
But most importantly (thats right), Bens excuse is now airtight

Badgers

Badgers Badgers everywhere 

Flying Badgers in the air

Badgers underneath my bed

The Badgers came, the people fled...

It began upon a Sunday morn

While farmers harvested their corn

The Church bells rang, the people flocked

Unaware their path was blocked

They turned a corner and up ahead

A Badger knaws the vicars head

"The end is nigh" the vicar cried

The Badgers swarmed, the vicar died

The people screaming as they ran

Each one carrying as much as they can

"Flee the village" an old man gasped

The children screamed and ran so fast

The Badgers turned with eyes of fury

But also with joy, satisfaction and glory

The village was empty, no one to be seen

Not a noise in the air, as if there'd never been

Peace in Pai

I sit alone inside my room, consider my impending doom 

For now, I am alone

As I trudge down this lonely street

I stare down at my shoeless feet

With flip flops gone and shoes that smell

My feet are going straight to hell

My dearest friends i miss you so

I wish you had no need to go

For now I sit alone in Pai

And watch the days go by and by

Yet in all this, i break a smile

Knowing my time is all worthwhile

The mountain breeze, the starlit sky

I truly have found peace in Pai

Sonnet

If time should heal all things in course
Then without time all things would fade,
Into such a place were we must force
All debts in heart and soul be paid;
But with time in place a distance undefined
Grows between the lives that once were twain,
Thus a moment defined by one or many instance
Will cause a light to wax or forever wane;
Though theoretics may give hope of alteration
In lives we might that we could ever change,
Once written ceding only to determination
Of author and of editor both willing to engage;
Though time may often leave an ugly scar,
Beauty, with new Ink on page and skin, may not be far

Where do I go?

I don’t know where my soul is

Im not sure if I have a heart

I don’t know if im living

Not sure if i remember the start

The days drift by staring at this luminescence

Living the dreams of someone else

Minutes fade to hours, then fade into the distance

Books sit unread upon the shelf

Where do I go where have i been i cant remember

Does anybody know my name

Im standing right here on the sidelines

But i never join the game

(Theres no one else but me to blame)

(Am i just scared or im insane)

I have a dream

I have a dream, a subtlety of sorts

An idea in mind, a subconscious thought

A decision, a choice, myself unawares

A question, an answer, awake I can’t bear

I have an Idea, a dream of sorts

My conscious mind, a question  of thought.

Festival Fallacy

We met midsummer's eve amidst the trees and dusty fields,
Within a sleepless city to which silence, sound would never yield.
Where all who came from near and far to open up their minds,
To dance and sing and laugh and cry, they knew not what they'd find.

Within the second city that me met the fields were long replaced,
Through glass I saw emotions, within which you were encased.
We travelled from the centre, to Failand and Green Lane,
And on the journey there you shared with me, your troubles and your pain.

You Told me of lovers lost, of friends betrayal and fathers scorn,
The stresses of uprooting home and how you felt so worn.
And as you curled up beside me as we journeyed from the barn,
I wished that I could keep you safe, keep your heart from further harm.

Yet on that grainy farm you showed us all your strength and power,
Your willingness to do your best despite the lengthy hour.
Though Robert did betray his folk, Vain Morrison his girl with eyes of brown,
You held your devil by his spoke and spun him to the ground.

Through Longitude to Latitude, past oxygen most dubious,
With Phil of river cottage fame and improvising Jupitus.
My shack it saw no action, afore great wind tore asunder,
Swift aid did help our sorrows drown in bubbles from down under.

Three stops along the wayside did delay our journey home,
The last a central garden yet I spied no single gnome.
Many hours later we returned, one friend repaired,
Our possessions were not with us, still out on the road somewhere.

You offered to me sanctuary on your moonlit street,
One touch most inappropriate was all between the sheets.
A decision from discussion, to complicated it would be,
I miss you already said a message sent to me.

Upon the sunny southern shore, just outside Lulworth cove,
We cast aside our doubts and fears, into each other dove.
I hoped that I could hold you forever there in my arms,
I could no more turn my gaze from you than move the stars..

night owl

floating past the midnight bell,

an air of uncertainty beneath my wings.

to the light fly through the dark of hell,

will the animals come to buy these things;

fly's on the wall, eyes are in the sky,

head turns so far beyond its means,

to keep watch till end is nigh,

and all of this can fade to dreams;

Social Network

 were they totally unaware of the 56 million usear of facebook and the unrestricted accessand freedom of speech affiliated with such a gargantuan social network, or unbelievably they were so naive to understand that when incorporating yourself into such an incredibly complex, multinational, multilingual and multi sexual network of such magnitude, covering the span of the world, that given any chance that they were bound to eventually to come across something unfortunate. I could find countless words, images, references and much more that offend and cause pain within my very soul, and when just cause presents itself I will use this amazing tool of social communication to voice my opinion. But I will not ever under any circumstance  take what I read to be either fact 'or' fiction or knowing not what the writer intends, be it the later or the former. Such a thing would be akin to considering the Daily Mails opinion of the Sun. If one does not like what one reads, whether in narrative literature, newsreel, lyric or gospel, one can simply close the book and pick up another.

who knows

I didnt know his favorite colour or his favourite tv show

I didnt know if he liked sunshine or smiled when he saw the snow.

I didnt know his favourite band or favourite harmony

I didnt know if he drank coffee, or took sugar in his tea.

I know he was a man like any other that I know,

I know he had a heart and soul out on his sleeve for show.

I know that he felt love and laughed and cried like all of us

I know that we All struggle, when life gets really tough

To Never

to never sit and look up at the stars
to never have a song that we call ours
to never see the sun set in the sky
to never sit back and enjoy the ride

to never smoke a single cigarette
to never get so drunk that we forget
to never just stare out across the sea
to never have 6 sugars in my tea

to never get all of the answers right
to never throw the last punch in a fight
to never hold my breath until im blue
to never sing another song with you

to never have to wear a shirt and tie
to never have their been a you and I
to never hope the sun comes out today
to never hope my friends come out to play

to never play with buckets in the sand
to never sit with you and hold your hand
to never rest my head upon your shoulder
to never just grow older

Sonnetto

To argue with a stranger in a bar

And yet find solace in their company,

A rarity in life not found so far

But one accepted unquestionably.

Time is spent betwixt the strangers sheets

And sunny day on distant sandy shores,

Toasting royal union in the streets,

Revelling on ships that sail no more.

So comfortably they are alive together,

But a few moments spent apart.

Wishing time would for them slow forever,

 keeping them together at the start.

What I wonder will the strangers find,

With further searching of each others mind?